Living in a dream

You hear that phrase sometimes, ‘You’re dreaming!’ Meaning that you’ve lost touch with reality. But suppose, however briefly, you end up lost in a dream and you’re not sure how to escape.

It happens to me. I decide to get up early over the weekend so I can ‘Get stuff done.’ Man! My intentions are good, but things don’t usually go that way.

What happens is that I’ll go to bed early on Friday night and wake up around 6 AM. Great! I’m up and about.

But no… I decide to go back to bed for ‘another 10 minutes. It can’t hurt.’ And that’s it: I’m dreaming. Intense, kaleidoscopic, serpentine dreams that drag me under the surface and refuse to release me. Such dreams are full of familiar and unfamiliar faces. They seem to have a narrative… a flow.

But when I wake up, I have no idea what the dream was really about. So I go back to sleep and continue where I left off. This can happen several times during the same morning. When I wake up it’s 11 AM and I feel so groggy I have to stagger to the kitchen and make a drink. ‘Get up!’ I berate myself. ‘Stay up.’

I do, and things are fine. But somehow, I never fully switch on after such engrossing nightly phantasms. Such fugues.

I dream recreationally. There is some part of me that wants to escape into sleep. Not forever… Just long enough to plumb the ocean of my subconscious and see what’s there. Perhaps I’m looking for answers. Perhaps I find them and don’t remember what I learned. Is this a waste of time?

I don’t think so. Much of everyday life is mundane. I could have gone shopping. I could have travelled from A to B and looked at the scenery. To dream is to travel without moving.

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